My Old Kentucky Homesite

The Best of the Aughts

Posted by Larry Wallberg on 12/27/2009

It’s only December 27, but I’m already totally bored by the endless end-of-decade lists of ten best whatevers. In my opinion, nothing has been any good since 1959. Except maybe for (1) a bottle of 1982 Cos d’Estournel I bought in 1988, (2) Philip Roth’s “Zuckerman” series, (3) the Beatles from Rubber Soul to Sergeant Pepper’s, (4) the ubiquity of Sudoku, and (5) the Bitty Schram seasons of Monk.

I’ll bet you’re glutted on these ridiculous lists, too. But the blogger’s oath requires it, so I apologize in advance that you’ll have to suffer through this.

Ten Best Whatevers of the Aughts

  1. Decade only ten years long.
  2. Beano sometimes works.
  3. Possible to avoid watching American Idol if you don’t care to have any conversations with friends, relatives, casual aquaintances, or strangers.
  4. Terrorists prevented by Bush Administration from hiding in my refrigerator. Proof: from 2001-2008, no terrorists found hiding in my refrigerator.
  5. The French still make at least 265 kinds of cheese, 243 of which have been found hiding in my refrigerator.
  6. Squeaky Fromme oiled before release from prison in 2009.
  7. Rock ‘n’ roll continues to be here to stay.
  8. Obama first president in 16 years to speak without Southern accent.
  9. Useful word “octomom” no longer limited to female cephalopods.
  10. Bank bailouts shared equally by all indigent Americans, rather than being charged solely to my wife and me.

Readers, feel free to add any items to this list.


2 Responses to “The Best of the Aughts”

  1. Evie said

    Psst: don’t tell anyone, but 5 terrorists were found hiding in my refrigerator in 2007. It wasn’t too big a deal, though, because they had already died from eating the 22 kinds of French cheese (the ones that were missing from your fridge) that had been there since 2002.

  2. Evie:
    Well, I guess your cheese bleu them away.

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