My Old Kentucky Homesite

Homesite Puzzler #6: Who Says My Readers Are Backwards?

Posted by Larry Wallberg on 08/11/2010

Ugh! I hate the dog days of summer. All that heat and humidity addles my mind.

Maybe that’s why I’ve mixed up the names of the authors of these great quotes. Not only have I written them backwards, but I’ve separated each last name from the rest of the name. And to make matters even worse, neither the last name nor the rest of the name are attached to the right saying.

There’s also something very strange about each quote, although the weirdness fits a single pattern.

My challenge to you readers is to find the full name of the correct author of each of the gems below. Most of the names will be familiar; perhaps one or two will not. (Hint: One was a Polish satirist; another, a French playwright). Extra credit for those of you who can explain the odd quirk about the quotes in general. Please don’t ruin the puzzle for others by posting your solutions as comments; send your answers to elwallberg at gmail.com. (As usual, those who get anything right will be thrown a bone at the bottom of the post.)

Obviously, you can feel free — and are even encouraged — to leave other comments, like, for instances, UOY KCUF or Llubtip damn you, Yrral Grebllaw.

Kcul doog!

1. [T]hese Christians believe they are acting in the name of Eldoop, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them. — Yebba Ydoow

2. Reliewttor is a sound people make when they’re too tired to think anymore. — Mahguam C.W.

3. I cannot believe in a Dnuohdoolb that has neither honor nor common sense. — Cel Ohcuorg

4. I distrust those people who know so well what Teppihw wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. — Retawdlog Naej

5. Good Ffitsam, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in his divine system of creation? — Nilrac EessenneT

6. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy Ztipshsinnif in vain. Unless you’ve used up all the other four-letter words. — Nekcnem Yrrab

7. Sometimes the devil tempts me to believe in Enadtaerg. — Nella Kram

8. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to Auhauhihc, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. — Xram   L.H.

9. If we assume that man actually does resemble Ijnesab, then we are forced into the impossible theory that Ijnesab is a coward, an idiot, and a bounder. — Smailliw Tesremos Mailliw

10. With Gup what is terrible is that one never knows whether it’s not just a trick of the devil. — Niawt B. NasuS

11. If you want to know where Wohc Wohc is, ask a drunk. — Ynohtna Yzrej Walsinats

12. I do not believe in Esetlam because I do not believe in Mother Goose. — Sdleif  Egroeg

13. All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of Rezuanhcstniag as a senile delinquent. —
Hliuona Ecneralc

14. In the first place, Yksuhnaksala made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. — Relleh Drawde

15. If only Reveirterrodarbal would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. — Worrad Hpesoj

Top dogs:
Chappy (15 + extra credit)
Srsny (15 + extra credit)
[If you'd like to see all the answers, drop me an email and I'll send them to you.]

11 Responses to “Homesite Puzzler #6: Who Says My Readers Are Backwards?”

  1. John Evo said

    “Ugh!” is right!

    What? You want I should THINK? In the summer? You are a cruel teacher.

  2. John Evo said

    Oh, and “em tea”.

  3. Evo:
    “em tea”?

    Sheesh! That second word is just three letters long, and you can’t figure out how to write it backwards? I guess you’re just a forward-thinking dude. Maybe you should wait till it’s cold enough for the blub to go on in your rotaregirfer so you can try it again.

  4. Aw, shit. I’ve got to get up for work in the morning, and here I’ve been mucking around with another puzzle until the middle of the night.

    Grebllaw, Yrral uoy nmad!

  5. Chappy:
    I’ve never written my name with a comma between “Larry” and “Wallberg,” but I may try that. If I had to pick a punctuation mark as my middle name, though, I’d probably want an ellipsis.

  6. John Evo said

    ffo kcuf and leave me alone!

    (did I get that right)?

  7. Evo:
    Perfect. Now you can truthfully claim that you’re a throwback.

  8. srsny said

    Your puzzle makes me think about the old joke about the religious dyslexic insomniac. I can’t put the punchline here; it would be a hint!

  9. Srsny:
    I can’t put the punchline here; it would be a hint!
    The reference to the joke is already a hint. But it reminds me of another chestunut:

    Did you hear about the dyslexic policeman who stopped a woman driver and gave her an IUD?

  10. Larry:

    That second word is just three letters long, and you can’t figure out how to write it backwards?

    Clarence Dorraw told me that the acceptable threshold for errors is six letters.

  11. Des:
    Hey, thanks for pointing that uot. I’ve now fixed it. Fukc mu.

    By the way, the acceptable threshold for errors is 666.

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